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FORTY ONE

Before I got married, I already knew what my wedding anniversaries would be like. Yeah, I am opinionated and a dreamer at the same time. Hence, the day dreams and imaginary parties were pretty much part of my ritualistic futurescape. Even after getting married there was always that little part of me which planned and re planned the day, the weekend of the anniversary. But what marriage teaches you, sometimes, the hard way, things don’t go the way you plan, the way you want, simply because marriage is about two different individuals and hence the factors bearing significant control over the plans increases two fold.

Its like this, if one plans for a trip for oneself then one books tickets, arranges for transportation and lodging, budgets for expenses of food, travel and miscellaneous items, obtains leave from work etc. When one is married one has to do all these arrangements, but for two people, hence the twofold number of items to check off a “To do” list. And in all this even if one item on the list goes from a ‘tick’ to a ‘question mark’ the rest of the process comes to a standstill. You see, when you are married everything is about two people and not one.

So, does marriage mean only difficulties and unfulfilled plans? Of course not. There is more to married life than meets the eye. Without comparing with any other married couple, I can at least point out 12 things (little, tiny!) that I like to think as Perks of a married life.

1. There is someone to make you tea when your throat hurts. Actually, there is always someone to sooth you when you are down with illness.
2. Somehow even when in a rented apartment there is this feeling that it is a Home, just because there is that ‘someone’ special to share it.
3. You have a standing partner for new movie release.
4. You don’t fight over the remote because you tend to watch similar types of television programs.
5. Sundays are packed with possibilities of fun. In fact, everyday is filled with so many possibilities that it hurts my head to even think about them. Possibly that’s why they say ‘one lifetime is not enough’.
6. Nothing is ‘only your’ responsibility, there is someone else to lend a hand.
7. You are never really alone. Really, really alone. because there is always that thought of someone.
8. Festivals are cheerier and means gifts, always!
9. Surprise gifts make you smile more often. But more importantly you understand the value of the real gift. The companionship. You realize the significance of the smallest gestures, words and body language. Every smile, a kiss, a warm embrace is a gift.
10. You have ‘someone’ to listen to your long winded stories and bitching.
11. You have someone to complete a song or accompany you on a song when you feel like singing.
12. You ‘always’ have someone to give you a pep talk whether you need it or not.

There are ten thousands of quotes about weddings and marriages but the fact is none of them really prepare you for the tasks and responsibilities of married life. I am no expert on relationships but I know this somewhere The H. & I have found some form of balance. Yes, I truly believe Marriage is about Balance. Because only through balance can we live a fruitful life. Marriage tones down the excesses we all indulge in sometime in our adult life. But my marriage hasn’t changed me as the individual that I am. I am still the self opinionated, optimist but what it does, or has done for me, is, it has made me more aware of myself and given me some good habits, bettered my judgement and pushed me to take care of myself.

Now, back to the anniversary plans. Well, marriage is not really about the perfect days, its really about the ‘days’. its about the perseverance and time and a whole lot of hope. In the same logic, the plans for the anniversary can be chopped and changed, but what is worth is the spontaneity, the attempt to be together against the odds – bad weather, delayed confirmation on bookings, bad headache, you name it. And then just the pleasure of holding hands and trying to avoid the pouring rain.

I get sentimental!

For my 1st anniversary, I just have one message for The H.

“I was right to say yes to you, when you asked me to marry you. because like I told you, You make me a better person. And I like who I am with you.”

Happy Anniversary, Baby!

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