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NINETY ONE

Is there a word which describes how I feel about Men in general? Probably not. Or may be I don’t know it. And no I was not thinking of the word ‘feminist’. Everything about them is horrible.  Yes now you see this post is going to be a rant  I have tried my best not to rant on this blog but let’s just say being married to a man makes it difficult not to rant. So here are my top 5 pet peeves about Men:

  1. I simply cannot understand the latest obsession with facial hair.  These beards and stubble and moustache and what not are too damn icky. I have always known men who I have admired to be clean shaven. And this latest trend does not translate well when followed by normal everyday men walking around in your local market. I have been told by some that adding those horrible facial hair makes these men look more matured or whatever else they need to be like. But I think it just makes them look unkempt. The well groomed men with those fancy hair do or beard are models and since you are basically in a different rat race following them blindly makes you look like a dirty mice.
  2. From the facial hair I come to hairy legs. Why wear shorts when neither do you have good legs nor the height or looks to carry them off. Just because you watch American television where men wear shorts at home and outside doesn’t mean you should wear them to local market, mall or movies. If you aren’t in shape please don’t make us cringe with the vision of those hairy bow legs. And there I am body shamming men.
  3. Skinny jeans and narrow trousers do not fit everyone with different body types. So buy fashion that suits you. Just because you have seen people team darker colors with beige / brown pants doesn’t mean you should. Also a green short with brown pants makes you look like a tree. If you don’t understand color stick to what you are comfortable.  It will.make you boring but not a fashion disaster. And as you get to your middle age for heavens sake stop wearing round neck T’s with that pot belly. Basically get better advice on your wardrobe. Too many men think they look great in their pointy toe shoes. No they don’t.  They remind me of jesters. 
  4. If you have never expanded your horizon to good books please don’t quote Chetan Bhagat. He is a foolish man who makes you all look extra level dumb. Same goes for movies. If your level is Sultan don’t quote Jurassic Park. You haven’t watched Casablanca or sound of music there is soemthing lacking in your upbringing. I am judging you. If you can’t speak one complete sentence in English and try to inform me that you are VP of some start up, I’m rolling my eyes and walking away. If you do own a decent vocabulary and still insist on being monosyllabic you are basically dumb.men should read more , watch better movies, learn more and not rest on their big cars and bank balances to be seen as attractive or eligible hell even worth out time.
  5.  The last one is simple.  We all know you dont really like pink or supprt femibists. You snigger behind womens back. Call them names. Any woman  except your mother and sister is a slutty, whore, fat, ugly, bitch, etc etc.   Stop being imbeciles and juvenile.  Grow a pair of whatever you need to grow and feel your emotions, talk about them, express them don’t bottle them up. Because after a while we will stop wondering and caring what you are thinking. And that is what’s happening all around you. While you are busy judging women’s morality we are forgetting to bother about your existence. So wake up and stop being a man. Be a human being.

And if you can’t open much about the above just doesn’t out. You know go extinct. Like the dodo. It will probably save the planet more than planting 10000 saplings. 

Anyone else feel that way.

THE END

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