Mother’s Day Post

A few days ago I read a web article about a Teacher from a school in the Mumbai Suburbs about the dress code she follows to her work place. The writer referred to “ Many students and ex-students over the generation have written in saying that they have dreamt of my saris.” While reading this I realized this could have easily been my Mother talking. It took me back to memories of her getting ready for her college. I must have been 6 or 7 still going to primary school, and returning early to be able to see her get dressed for work. She also worked in a Girl’s College in the suburbs and took the college bus to work every day. She wore mostly Handloom cottons or printed cottons during summer, on rainy days she wore synthetics ( that’s what they were called then) and during the mild winter she wore handloom silks, printed silks. She accessorised her outfits with subtle jewelry. I know she had a collection of semi precious stone jewelry which I later inherited. She had her glass bangles. But they were rarely worn by the time I could remember. She wore light gold earrings and bangles and a watch with black leather band. She had progressed from the semi precious colorful jewelry to Gold, but the color wasn’t lost, she had rings made with different color stones, and matching earrings and bangles. We would go shopping for these in the city when we visited during vacations. And everyday when she got ready she would match her accessories with her saree. She seemed to do it without a hitch. I was awestruck by it. I thought someday I would be able to do the same. I remember she used to have her leather bags in the Black, Brown and Neutral color which she would pair accordingly. And her heeled Sandals, colorful and dainty but subtle at the same time. She stopped wearing heels after a freak accident at a railway station. But I still remember trying out her sandals all the time as a child.

She told me many stories of how her students would be in awe of her clothes and accessories. They would discuss amongst themselves what color outfit she would wear on a particular day. In the 80’s and 90’s the students were still respectfully afraid of the teacher so they didn’t talk about it to her in class. She found out from them during their  field trips or excursions or sometimes once they had passed out of the college and come back to join the department as juniors. The millennial student were more forthcoming. They would tell her in the classroom that they liked what she was wearing.

The day I read the article I posted it on FB and wrote a bit and while doing that I found I had more to say. So, I decided to write this post for her on Mother’s Day. For my mother, who inspired me to dress well, accessorize and show up looking ready for the job every day. I came to embrace this tenet of dressing well pretty in life. Mostly I didn’t care how I looked because I thought my sparkling personality would do the rest. In the past 2-3 years I have moved away from only dressing up for occasions to dressing right Every day. And although my choices and taste are a poles apart from my mother, I know that some part of the love for sarees come from her. I remember I was given I saree every year and slowly by the time I was working I made sure I bought one saree every year. For a young person of my generation who did not have too many occasion to wear saree I had a sizable collection and would enjoy wearing them to Family events much to the surprise of people who thought I was too young to wear a saree. The concept of saree being meant for only rare festivities is ingrained in some and hence they are surprised to see me wear a saree. However, my Mother has definitely inspired me to wear a saree at most occasions.

Thank you Mom, for the inspiration. As years go by I realize how much influence you have on how I shaped up as a person. Happy Mother’s Day!!



To The Girls Who Are “Emotionally High-Maintenance”

Reblogging is new to me. And although I have seen the symbol before, I haven’t reblogged anything before. It is very similar to Twitter’s re tweet. The concept is similar too. One can share a post by a fellow blogger and add one’s own thoughts and opinions. Although I wouldn’t consider this to be a part of my quest to write 100 posts on my blog, from time to time it is important that I share what I read and it is also important to do this exercise because I am not always capable of writing something on the same topic or expressing my thoughts precisely.

Reblog 1.0

Such a wonderfully written and high on emotional content writing… I couldn’t help but make this my first reblog.
I have always considered myself emotionally high maintenance and have been disappointed with partners unwilling to take that extra care when handling me. I remember posting on another blog why I was emotionally high maintenance. But that post was about defending myself and putting on an attitude of , ‘I couldn’t care less if you understand’, but this post I am re blogging has a tone that is closer to the real feeling of being misunderstood, and the desperate attempts to explain oneself. These feelings still plague me sometimes but thankfully The H. has been a calming influence on me mentally as well as emotionally.

Hope you enjoy reading this reblog. Do leve a comment on the original blogger’s site. All credit and copyright is of “Thought Catalog”.


We are capable of various forms of deceit but what bothers me the most is the conspicuous attempt made by individuals to manipulate a person or a group of persons for no meaningful end or gain. The betrayal is harder to digest when it happens within a group of close friends. Sometimes we come across an event in our life which reminds us that we were correct in our assessment of the said individual the first time around. Our first impressions are rarely wrong, especially if we are capable of feeling a sense of empathy with the people we interact with. It is understandable when a person is faced with a surprising turn of events that he may need to share the same with his group of close people, be it friends or family. It is also part of his expectation that the listening ears will be sympathetic towards him. If the people he talks to really do care about him, they will always stand by him no matter what. But the individual must understand that he cannot manipulate their responses and corner them so they are left with no choice but to only remain formal with him.

Some news in our lives take us by surprise and yes we take a little more time to perhaps digest it, or wrap our heads around the truth of our lives. It does not give anyone the excuse to make a conditional statement and ask for a verbal agreement to accept whatever he says and only make positive comments on the issue. The idle mind is truly a devil’s toolshed, because the more the group thinks about it the clearer it becomes that the said individual was orchestrating an event of telling the truth or confessing up to a fact in such a way so he can manipulate the rest of the audience into a certain response of positive or negative nature as he desires. It is like the attempt made by the prosecutor or defending lawyer to push the jury’s verdict one way or the other.

It is always an assumption that within the sacred boundaries of close friendship, judgment is always lesser than in other places yet to manipulate a group of friends into accepting whatever we say so that they are left feeling suspicious of the conversation that they have had, not as a general flow of events, but as one dramatic dialogue written by a cunning playwright. By all means we may ask for sympathy and understanding but we cannot make a serious allegation against people close to us by assuming that there is a need to ensure positive responses by any means. That’s just being selfish and childish at the same time. We may take some life changing decisions, or some life changing events may be thrust upon us, but to defend against the feeling of alienation if we decide to manipulate the people who are there to give the black and white of the scene, and always see our actions with a feeling of empathy, then we will only feed on our paranoia and end up being alienated for real.

Ask for unadulterated support, ask for sympathy, demand understanding, expect optimism but do not try to manipulate the response of close friends, because they will eventually see through the little plan to modulate a conversation towards a topic in a group. They will see through the insecurities, attempts to gain sympathy and we will drop down a few notch in their esteem. We must never forget that our past doesn’t really remain forgotten, someone always remembers. And although over the years people may choose to forget indiscreet communications full of melodramatic life events – sometimes conveniently time delayed terminal and very much real diseases, they may return to haunt people’s memory in case of failed attempts to manipulate that lacks creativity and discretion.

The worse outcome is of course when having achieved the manipulated response, the individual is so confused or perhaps addicted to melodrama that he constantly negates the positives mouthed by the polite and concerned friends in order to continue to remain negative himself and continuously expect each and every one to come to the rescue of the subject and inject optimism into it.

It is after all your life, and if you are having trouble dealing with your decisions, after all they are your decisions – choosing not to do anything is also a decision – ask for support but do not give out mixed confused signals after having pretty much blackmailed your close friends into a ‘line of controlled thought and opinion’. If you are paranoid and do not want to be fed by other’s frenzy learn to avoid or filter things and if you can’t, then at least don’t play the helpless waif who has no one to listen to him or take care of him and who is left to fend for himself on the road side. Being a manipulative person does not suit the pretentious – holier than thou – innocent little thing in distress – the self-confessed un diagnosed sufferer of OCD and other non-terminal diseases – persona you have so carefully created over the years.

You have made a choice live with it, please don’t badger others with your negativity and expect optimism and silver linings,