It is important to connect with people. When I was younger I was proud of how many friends I had and how easily I could make friends. But by the time I hit my 30’s I slowly started to realise that not all those I thought were my friends were true. It wasn’t as if I was their first choice as a friend possibly I was just one of the fun people they hung out with. I had many acquaintances but very few real friends. The real friends lasted years even decades didn’t need maintenance. Or so I thought. Friends need maintaining. Yes they do. Because no one likes to be taken for granted. Meeting them , talking to them , letting them know you are thinking about them are all part of this. When we wonder how we have grown apart from our friends or how friends who were so close to us seem to avoid us the answer is in this. We forget to call friends or talk to them relying mostly on fb or whatsapp which are not really a replacement of for a conversation or even a mail. We get so tied up with work that we often cancel meetings or keep postponing get togethers. Eventually we get so used to not catching up we stop needing our friends and vice versa.
The sad thing is when all this happening we don’t realise it and once the damage is done we are left wondering what went wrong. Recently I did some hard thinking and found myself drifting into an introvert’s shell. I started focusing on speaking to the few friends I have. I strongly feel that if my decade long friendships have to survive I must nourish them with my attention. Else I am afraid by the time the dreaded 40’s appear I will be left with no friends.
As part for my ex year resolution I am going to focus on meeting , talking and being in touch with the few precious friends I have. Friends are in my mind your guardian angels here on Earth. If you believe in that sort of thing. It is my firm belief that in order to have a healthy life having friends is important and I am too old to make new friends and I plan to hang onto the few I have. Here’s hoping they want me to hang onto them.
I am by nature opinionated. For the longest time I can remember my dream was to become a columnist in a leading daily, somewhat like Sobha de. Of course with the course of time the realisation dawned on me that in order to be a columnist there was a lot of hard work involved. Yes, I am not denying the fact that hard work is the pre requisite for any success in any field but the lazy impatient personality that I have thought it was too tedious to try and make it as a columnist. Note how brilliantly I have circumvented the need for any actual talent to become a columnist. I like writing in fact I think I write well sometimes. But just like hobbies from childhood many things fade with time and lack of practise. The same has happened to my writing skills. I haven’t tried to groom myself to become a writer. Yet, I have opinions which I like to share. My next best recourse has been the social media namely Facebook. It gave me scope to vent my opinions and bore unsuspecting friends reading their newsfeed. In fact my initial days of blogging were mostly spent in putting forth my random opinion on things. Over the years I have come to find that not everyone welcomes my opinions. Off late I have found myself trying to stay away from sharing my opinions.
Coming back to why I started talking about my opinionated self. I have been finding it difficult to write well researched blog posts in the past one year. It seems to me the best way to continue towards my goal of making it to the 100th post is to stick to opinions. Yes, that could be what I focus on for the next few posts. In fact I am someone who reads a lot of news and I have opinions on most of them but I am also lazy not to leave a comment on the online posts. Perhaps this would be the to fit forum to voice the opinions which I keep dormant. With this thought I started to type this post. Today my opinion is about the media obsession and focus on Priyanka Chopra and her acceptance in Hollywood post her stint with the ABC produced Quantico. The TV series has competed the first season and shooting is on for the season 2. In the meantime Piggy chops has won herself a People’s Choice award. I admit that’s an achievement. To be associated with a mainstream TV series produced by ABC is a great boost to her image as a crossover star from Bollywood but most recently everyone is losing their head over her presenting at Oscars. I am a wide eyed fan of the Oscars and I am a bit offended by the fact she is being hyped up by the media. It seems to me that she is the favour of the season and celebrity status is as good as your last success or award for someone like Priyanka Chopra. But the man who I find to be the real bearer of torch if acting skills of Indians and an ambassador of Bollywood is Irfa Khan. He is a phenomenal actor whether he plays an inspector interrogating Dev Patel in Slumdog Millionaire or the adult Pi. He has been part of many Hollywood movies from a Ang Lee Epic to a Danny Boyle drama. He has worked with Ron Howard now for Inferno and from what I read he was approached by Steven Spielberg and he missed out on working on The Martian. He has been part of blockbusters like the Amazing Spiderman. He is part of good entertaining movies quietly without the hype. I have been wondering why his PR team , don’t know if he has one, hasn’t promoted him better. Anil Kapoor was more hyped for Slumdog Millionaire, in fact he bagged the Hindi version of 24 , his pathetic role in Mission Impossible 3 post all of the Oscar promotion.
I don’t grudge Priyanka her share of the limelight but in the same time when she was releasing contrived music albums Irfan Khan was doing good work. I hope audiences around the world who love good movies and good actors remember him and focus on him instead of the bling and flash and bang of Priyanka Chopra.
I would only compare Irfan with only one other actor, Om Puri who has been part of great Hollywood projects from before my birth. Recently I watched the 100 feet journey it was so poignant, it reminded me once again that the artistry of acting is not dead in this Era of fast paced , computer graphics driven story telling. But that is a story for another post.
My contention is Irfan should receive adulation , promotion and recognition for his contribution to our collective pride as Indians in the world of movies.
Call me a bitch if you will. But frankly my dear I don’t give a damn. Yes that’s my attitude to what most people portray as sympathy. They think it their duty to stand and pooh pooh or aww aww regarding the sad events happening to other folks but do they care an ounce? I am not sure how I can explain the disgust I feel towards such people who think it’s perfectly fine to visit a person who is ill at their home and expect even ask to be served coffee/ tea or snacks. Sometimes making a day out for themselves by staying over for lunch or dinner. Yes you read that right. Some folks actually do this. It may come as a surprise to us but I have been at the receiving end of such behaviour enough number of times to recognise the pattern. Hence I avoid such folks like plague. Insisting that we are too busy to entertain them but there have have been cases where folks despite enough attempts to dissuade their eagerness have not taken a hint and turned up at the door. But those stories are long and uneventful because I did not have any rat poison to add to their cup of tea.
Recently I found myself audience to another form of over indulgence in sympathy. So there is this long lost acquaintance who you barely talk to except for browsing through an update on Facebook or responding to a comment with a emoji. And one fine morning you read that the person in question is hospitalised in your city. You rush down there and find out what is happening and check if you can be of any help and after the appropriate amount of time you return leaving your number with the family in case they need any help.
But if this was the only story then why am I writing a blog post. The sympathiser in question however decided to spent close to 2 hours morning and evening at the hospital and finally decides to bring one of the relatives over to stay at home because staying at the hospital is so difficult. Pray tell me what is being achieved by this?
And for heaven sake who does that? You good folks will tell me that a person with a good heart does this. I tell you that only an idiot who has nothing better to do with his time does this.
Can we all be a little more sensible about how sympathetic we are or what we show as our sympathy? Our over indulgence into showing our sympathy can become a complete disgusting experience for the on lookers. Trust me no body likes to see this. No body.